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sunrise
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Default Aug 27, 2007 at 03:22 PM
 
Here are a few books that have been really helpful to me.

Mom’s House, Dad’s House: Making Two Homes for Your Child. by Isolina Ricci.
This book is for parents who are getting divorced and helps you learn to have a good relationship with your ex-spouse so you can co-parent effectively and without animosity—like a cordial, business relationship. The top priority is placing your kids’ needs first, and this goal helps drive the development of a good post-divorce relationship between the parents. Even though the book was recommended fairly early to me in my divorce process, I wasn’t able to tackle it until I had moved further along. But it is really good once you are grappling with issues like separation, how to tell the kids, developing a custody arrangement and parenting plan, etc.

Mom’s House, Dad’s House for Kids: Feeling at Home in One Home or Two. By Isolina Ricci.
This is the kids’ version of the book above, especially targeted at ages 10-14. I found this book useful for myself too, as you come to understand better what your kids are going through, what will help them get through this painful process, and how to talk to them better. I’d like to share it with my 13 year old, but I’m not sure she’s ready. The author also says you can read parts of it to younger children too.

The Good Divorce. By Constance Ahrons.
Reading this book was huge for me and contributed to allowing me to move forward and actually tell my husband I wanted a divorce. I was stuck and had been for ages, unable to take the plunge. This book gave me hope that we could separate and divorce and not hate each other and become consumed in vitriol. It gave me hope I could heal from all the pain of my failed marriage, that I could construct a separate future in which my children had strong relationships with both of their parents, and that my ex-husband and I could interact civilly and cordially after our divorce by keeping our children’s best interests paramount. Also useful to separating/separated couples without children. This book was very healing for me, provided positive role models, showed me a way, gave me hope.

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