Thank you both so much for commenting, it really does mean so much as I feel so alone with this and like no one around me understands. I am not close to my family, actually not being close to them has made it hard for me to trust anyone as an adult also. I've thought so much about this lately, and it almost was a mild form of abuse what my stepmother did, even though she herself was suffering too. I don't have access to therapy at the moment, difficult to explain, but I have spent this week trying to figure out ways to get my life under control. Not leaving the house with anything but a small amount of cash - not enough to binge eat on! And a blanket ban on any junk food. We will see how it goes, I am a very all or nothing person, eat super healthy or binge, so it may not work either. But this week I honestly felt like I am killing myself with this overeating. I lost quite a few pounds last year, and put it all back on within two months I hope I can do it, thank you so much for taking the time to comment, it really does help me so much!