Yes. I agree with Skeeyks. To pursue someone who doesn't share your feelings is only a path to causing yourself pain and loss of self esteem. What I read from your post (AND THIS IS JUST MY POV) is that.. A. You have some deeps seated issues with your dad. B. That you maybe confusing sexual feelings towards your step mom with your desire to protect her from the abuse you witnessed her go thru growing up. C. Idk, if or what your relationship w/ your bio mom is but.. IMO..blood is not always thicker than water and if she raised you from 6 then she is just as much your mom as if she gave birth to you herself...she has expressed as much to you. So you got yourself stuck in a bit of an Oedipus Complex here. I think it is natural to want to be her hero and keep her safe now that you are old enough to not be physically frightened of your father....but I think that a lot of us who experience abuse growing up..tend to as adults get love and sexuality a bit confused. If you are not already in some kind of therapy or counseling, I suggest you find a professional to talk to who can help you understand and cope with the traumatic nature of growing up in an abusive household... and hopefully help you learn to have a great healthy relationship (non sexual) w/ ur step mum. Indiviually, in counseling and on your own you can explore your maternal sexual desires. (By on your own I mean there are various healthier ways to play out your sexual feelings for a maternal like figure without putting your platonic relationship with your actual step mum in jeopardy) Please be kind to yourself and be safe.