Today, it happened again. I became a little restless and go dressed to perhaps go walking in an air-conditioned mall (to find what?) and it hit me that, if I am whole and complete (as stated by an affirmation) I don't NEED anyone or anything so, I took off my clothes and sat in my chair allowing myself to just be - just be whole and complete - and NOT IN NEED of a distraction, attraction or anything external to my very own self (not selfish) to fill me up, take away my anxiety or make me FEEL BETTER! Dependency is very deeply rooted inside of my psych but, thanks to a few spiritual and psychological teachings, I think I'll be able (at 79) to finally just be and no longer need to have or be "something" to feel OK. This is a huge step for me and I am no longer pining for or longing for my late wife to come around and help or comfort me from the other side although I welcome her presence when she "drops by". I can see how some sages, from the past, were so very comfortable with them selves WITHOUT a flock of followers to help, teach and NEED the sage. I guess being OK just as one is is quite an accomplishment in regular human society where most of us were programmed to NEED each other for various purposes. That's why solitary confinement hurts jailed inmates more than any other thing. How's your dependency drama going?