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eskielover
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Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
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Default Aug 17, 2016 at 09:10 PM
 
That's basically the point where I'm at now Skeezyks though I have been way under 2 times for a major length of time & I was less than skin & bones. I actually looked like one of those old ladies with all the wrinkles all over my body (anorexia isn't pretty the older you get either...not that it ever is).

But now I aim at keeping at a healthy weight right in the middle of the normal range because living alone, I know that if something does happen like it has in the past, then I have a safe buffer zone before I end up in a bad place again. Though that happened the last time & it went right past the buffer into danger zone because of long term stress triggering it & then not wanting to gain the weight back for fear I wouldn't stop in the other direction.....but I have been very conscientious this time in both directions. NOthing worse than passing out when you are alone. I passed out once when I was in my horses stall from the anorexia. Scared my horse as they are so very sensitive to how we feel......I can't imagine living alone & living like that so it keeps me wanting to be healthy.

I have to admit though there are times when I would really like to be that thin again & honestly there are times when I just don't feel like cooking & I live in the country so any food places are a distance to drive to so sometimes food just isn't even convenient.....but in reality....I would rather be healthy than how horrible I felt when I was that thin & how horrible my straw like hair looked & you think witch hair looks bad...LOL.

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Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018

Last edited by eskielover; Aug 17, 2016 at 09:31 PM..
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