Because it is part of the trauma I experienced as a child both with my religious practices of my family & having dyslexia at an age when it was not thought of as real. Being different or sticking or being first in anything presents one as a target

I find most interactions with ppl to be very distasteful.

I think this paraphrased quote from Bukowski sums it up when asked about being around people

"Do you hate people?”

“I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around."

There is a slight caveat in that there are a few I do like to be around as I do not find them confusing.