Quote:
Originally Posted by leomama
-> we are still judging another when we ascribe meaning to their behavior. All we can be sure of is how it affects us. We can not why they are behaving the way they do unless we ask them and accept their answer.
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When a child has gotten into the cookie jar and has chocolate chips all over their lips and cheeks it is not being judgmental to understand what has occurred. The same is true for using a word like boundary to mask PD traits.
This behavior can be addressed several ways for example and these are just a few ideas.
1) wanting to continue the relationship with the understand the relationship will not be a normal one and so reducing expectation of having a normal relationship.
2) the behavior is off putting &
staying in it would be stifling
3) ) stay positive and supportive but realize the relationship will be very limited. Try to work with this person and in time help them establish actual boundaries that match their values.
4) Have limited contact until you see they are able to be in a normal healthy relationship
All of these would of course take a lot of acceptance like in the case of a parent.