Hello worrist: My thinking here is that this is really a communications problem. Somehow you & your wife are not managing to communicate your interests & needs. From my perspective this is not a matter of you learning to accept that your wife is going to tease you & you need to learn to accept it. Somehow there needs to be a way for your wife to express why it is she's doing what she's doing & for you to express what her teasing is doing to you. If the two of you can do that informally... great! But if not perhaps some time spent with a marriage counselor is in order.

Beyond that, what I can suggest is the Buddhist practice of "compassionate abiding". This involves simply allowing intrusive thoughts (or in this case the feelings your wife's teasing creates) to come forward... breathing into them... perhaps even smiling to them. Sometimes I will even place my hand over my heart as a sign of lovingkindness & compassion for them. After a few breaths, I then drop the "story line" & simply continue to stay with the underlying emotion... be it fear, anxiety, grief or whatever... in this case perhaps the sexual excitement & frustration you experience.

Two things happen when we employ this practice. First, very gradually over time, the strength & frequency of intrusive thoughts wanes. But second, & perhaps more important, is that we learn we can stay with difficult thoughts & emotions without losing our balance... our equanimity. Here is a link to a mental-health-oriented description of the practice of compassionate abiding:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

May it be of benefit.