Wow, you certainly have a lot of stress going on in your life. I commend you for coming this far.

Regarding your son, you certainly have your hands full. I ask though, have you and your wife considered a service dog. They can be trained to recognise the building up of stress and take action to soothe the individual before such a crisis happens. My ex husband has an autistic child from his second wife. She herself has issues with wandering off and getting herself into trouble. Her particular dog is trained to keep her with the group. She is actually tethered to the dog for the purpose of her not being able to get away. In addition the presence of the dog seems to keep her calm.

Um, I want to make comment on another matter. You may not welcome this. I find it inappropriate that your daughter be provided a cell phone at all. At 16 she old enough to be responsible for paying for one herself. Remember a phone is not a right but a priviledge. Just my opinion.