Honestly, I know I should be inpatient. But with DID, I'm a "frequent flier" and I hate that. I hate having to go in for my safety. I hate losing my freedoms for my safety. It makes me not want to go in, even when I should. I hate that I get so scared on the wards by other peoples' illnesses- I get so triggered.
It's a catch 22; I can't talk about safety issues without being put under lock and key, but once there they won't "do therapy" around the issue of what brings any of us in.
Wish there were middle ground. A place I could go and say Here's my feelings right now, I know they'll change, but I have to get through to tomorrow.
Then they can send me home.