They will pass. How long it will take I don't know. I wish I had an answer for you. My thoughts have been pretty chronic from a fairly young age. Even when I'm doing well to all appearances there is always an idea of how I would if it got to that. I'm not in a real dark place right now but those thoughts creep in still. I think for the greatest majority it passes in time but it sounds like theres underlying issues behind these thoughts that you need to deal with. That is where I would focus with T so you can hopefully experience at least some relief soon. Hope things get better soon.