View Single Post
Fractured Infant
Junior Member
Fractured Infant has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: Toronto
Posts: 22
5 yr Member
Default May 08, 2017 at 10:55 PM
 
So I have known since Feb I have NPD. It was pretty unsettling at the start but slowly I have come back to a normal. It's not all bad, I am much more self aware now. I can see when I go off the rails very quickly but mostly in hindsight. My question is to those who have battled this longer and have any advice as to what worked for them to create lasting change.
I think my worst issue is Narcissistic Rage, blind spots, knowing I am going off the rails and being completely helpless to stop it. It's frustrating. My (estranged) wife asked me to make a promise and I wouldn't because I honestly don't feel that I can trust myself with certain things. That's sad but true. I told her I didn't want to lie and I want to be honest about my issues but that was no consolation.
It happened yesterday where I did something dumb that I quickly came to regret. I could see it coming, I thought I was fine, I was coping and then it's like someone else takes over. I'm paying more attention to it now and it actually surprised me, like where did that come from? It's kind of like a funnel you know you are entering and you think I'm okay I can get out but you don't realize the point where you go too far and there is no way out but doing something bad.
For me I have tried music and I feel like it helps me. The problem is I was listening to music a lot in the beginning but less now, I forget, or I'm less motivated. Because I think I'm okay, then I find out I'm not because I go and do something dumb. Your thoughts are appreciated.

Last edited by Fractured Infant; May 08, 2017 at 10:59 PM.. Reason: Spelling error
Fractured Infant is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
FallDuskTrain