In my opinion life is a struggle. Where would the meaning be, otherwise? In struggle I find myself. What helped me personally was accepting that there are no short cuts so to speak.
The question about whether or not the word "evil" is appropriate seems to be common around here. For me, I accept that I've done evil things and that yes, I am arguably decisively evil. That wasn't easy, but I found that it was easier to see my Self and my behavior for what it was/is when I stopped fighting the label.
One thing I've noticed about people with NPD is that we do tend to cause our own problems. For me it's because I thrive on conflict, I thrive on the struggle. I don't know how it is for anyone else though.