I agree with this completely. I would add one more thing too .. you have a quiet courage about you. That is something that is really awesome to have.

I don't know how many of my personal threads you have read, but if you have read many at all, I am sure you know I go through similar things as well.

Perhaps if you lean on your courage a lil to find the inner strength you need in order to get yourself out into the fresh air or do something you enjoy. That will allow you to "take a step back and relax" a bit. Then you can reanalyze. You say you disappointed everyone - are you truly doing that, or did you disappoint yourself down in some way? Is it something totally different not related to any of what you listed off but rather more so related to something in the past?

Finding the answers to those questions will allow you to understand you really are not a failure. These are not just words being told to comfort you. They are truth. When you are able to see the true root cause, it isn't as easy to cast an unfair burden on yourself. Then you can focus on healing again, rather than on the negativity you are perceiving.

You are a wonderful person. Kind and warm-hearted. Don't lose sight of that - we haven't.
*hugs*