Thread: jellybabies
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Anonymous58343
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Default Jul 02, 2017 at 05:13 PM
 
I think my underlying mental state has dictated my relationship with food for most of my life. As a child, I was forced to eat mince, at my babysitters and it was lump it or like it. I was afraid to ask for things to eat and drink at home and at the honey monsters. At school an auxiliary would observe me eating to make sure I did. I was like 5.
But it's blurry and when I hit teens I amazingly had a healthy relationship with food. I would pinch meat at Sunday Dinner when their back was turned, enjoying vegetables, potatoes and meat alike.
I was a kid willing to try things.
But as my mood sank, I just lost interest in things that brought me a spell of comfort, contentedness. Coupled with fact I spent my money on other things, food took a back seat. It was just to survive, a means of providing energy.
As an aspiring athlete I didn't consume enough nourishing food, I was quite sporadic. Get by for days on grapes, chocolate and bread then eat my weight in cake realising I was starving.
I was brought up on plain uninspiring food, and at 18 I had never even tasted a chicken korma. I never touched carbonated juice until I drank alcohol. Yeah, I musta lived under a rock.
I think my ex fiancé had a tinge of an eating disorder.
I was just a typical bi-polar, my moods dictated my habits. I did what I felt like doing. Three square meals, whatever. When I got outta hospital at 24 I survived on half a pack of biscuits a day for a month. It was only when I started seeing spiders form in the darkness, hallucinating that I ate a nutri-grain bar and began to eat again and not just drink.
My brother went to the chip shop nearly every night as my mothers cooking was not the best. He would throw his scones from lunchtime in our garden at the side - dumba%S lol should of used the bin at school.
I developed a penchant towards fast food for a while, nothing major but I was a useless cook, my tablets made me crave tasty food, I had been introduced to all sorts from a pals and old flames, making up for lost time.
I had hung around with an old pal who ate so much junk I was gobsmacked. I blame her for my bad teeth, all those sweets, ice cream, crisps, fruit polo's.
I remember two of my pals would have a Chinese every weekend I normally turned up after practice. I would go to nick a chip and they would say deadly serious "you should get your own" and they would eat what I would in four days! My ex did the same when we ordered pizza onetime. I asked for a few chips and he snapped "why didn't you get your own " and refused me.
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