Very important to become aware that when you think about and perceive yourself in a negative light - you will unconsciously psychologically project your own thoughts about yourself into the minds of others... In other words you will quite easily imagine (and believe) that others will think about and perceive you in the same negative light that you think about and perceive yourself. Why does this happen? Because you become so consciously identified with your self-generated 'self image' that it becomes your identity (your sense of self, who you think/believe you really are). This process unfolding can kind of create a negative feedback loop in the sense that you continue imagining that others perceive you in the same light that view yourself - and this will have the effect of affirming your self-defeating and disempowering thoughts/beliefs about yourself. Basically, there is a lot of distortions and illusions at work here. Being aware and mindful that this is going on is a major step towards eventually freeing yourself. You have to break this cycle and gradually integrate a state of awareness where you begin to detach yourself from these habitual self-defeating and overly critical thought-forms and then begin to arrive at the realization that you have a nature (an identity, a sense of self) which transcends and extends beyond the former/preexisting 'identity' (sense of self) that you previously could not find acceptance for. In other words, you discover you possess a transcendental nature that supersedes the limited and temporary 'human identity' which you are currently experiencing and which often serves as a source of much hurting & affliction. As your thoughts about yourself begin to transform, and as you increasingly let go of and part ways with your former overly critical & self-defeating thoughts about yourself - you discover that these internal developments will have the effect of simultaneously transform how you imagine others are perceiving and thinking about you. You will react & respond much differently to the same types of situations and external circumstances which previously elicited challenging emotional states within you. Why does this happen? Because you will no longer be projecting those old self-defeating thoughts about yourself into the minds of those whom you cross paths with and interact with. The solution to how you liberate yourself from your current undesirable state of being really does lie within you (internal, inward), and not with trying to influence and exercise some degree of control over the behaviors and reactions of others (external, outward).

Some of the 'feedback' you have alluded to that you have received from others - you can simply choose to perceive those experiences as small reminders that there is still something unresolved within you that you need to address and give attention to (via inner work). There are elements which still need to be fully processed and healed (released)... Anything critical anyone has ever said about you - it's important to remember that this is still not your identity... It's just what you were experiencing at that given time. What you are experiencing at this time in your life is perfectly natural and there is nothing 'wrong' with it. You are hurting and struggling to some degree, yes - however it's the process of going through this experience that eventually steers (pushes) you in a new direction which enables you to discover some truly profound and beautiful realizations about the higher nature of your own being. Once you get to that destination - you surprisingly realize that all of your former hurting & struggling served a higher purpose (and this creates a feeling of acceptance) - because it served to bring you to the newfound and much more expansive state of being where you find yourself (at that time)...

Do you ever read self-help books pertaining to the subject matters that you find yourself struggling with? If not, I highly recommend you thoroughly pursue this course of action. Now, you may find that you will need to go through 9 books which do not speak to you on a deeper level and which you cannot really get into & connect with. But when that very special 10th book comes along and suddenly you find yourself connecting with and being deeply moved/influenced by the content of said book - well the effect can be absolutely invaluable and life-changing! Sometimes you have to dig through lots of dirt before you find that nugget of gold. Sometimes you have to go through the experience of identifying with that which you are not - before you can discover and realize that which you truly are... Keep on going! You are right where you need to be at this very moment in your life. There is a much larger process that's in the works here - and in time you will come to realize this.