For a few months I've really struggled. Partially I think it's been related to a visit to the dentist half a year ago, which revealed quite suddenly that I have many problems and not nearly enough funds to solve them. So I've been saving since then and trying to recover mentally, and today I had enough courage for a consultation. Now I'm afraid that it was too soon, because of the effect the interaction with the people has had on me. Although maybe there is no good time... From the inability to formulate responses, to speak clearly, to sweating all the time, not being able to follow what the other person is saying, then fighting with myself about it on the way home. Plus the fear of pain and them clearly knowing that I'm feeling it.

What's worse, I can't in good conscience treat myself to a sweet as a reward/comfort.

I just hate myself.