My girlfriend of over four years was very sad after her divorce. Her former husband remarried, and his wife accused my girlfriend of being mean and evil. I never saw that in her. About every 7-8 months, she would grow distant, and then break up with me, only to come back anywhere from a few days to a few months later. This happened in February, and I started looking for reasons.

Low and behold, BP2 came up in my research. I was 99% certain she had it, and that was why she was so mean (at times) to her ex-husband. Sure enough, she came back and I was able to convince her to see a pDoc. My theory was confirmed, and she got the diagnosis I expected. I tried to make things easy for her by always going to her house (a 45 minute drive) instead of mine, and just taking all the negative comments about me.
A month ago, she was really getting under my skin being critical of me, insinuating I was fat, and saying she would never get married (in front of her family and my friends). She pushed me a little too far, and I yelled at her telling her to grow up, and stop behaving like a little b**ch. The next day, I apologized, but she broke up with me again. I again apologized, but no dice. This was the fifth breakup.

Now, she is asking me to come see her, but the conversations (text only) quickly devolve into her being quite nasty and mean. She is on 40 mg Latuda, and 100 mg Zoloft. Yesterday, I suggested she read Julie Fast’s book Take charge of Bipolar Disorder, and she started in with the criticism again. It seems I can’t even discuss the condition, and she denies she even has it. When she is not in an episode, she is wonderful, caring, loving and a joy to be around. When hypomanic, she is mean to me and me only, so her family has no clue. Her brother committed suicide when she was 13 (bipolar), and several more distant family members have been in psych hospitals.

I would like to try and work with her to help her be well (we do not live together), but it seems like she wants to just stay in denial. I know she can get better if she tries.

Does anyone have any advice for me?