Hi, Lavender. I am a 57 year old woman, and I suffer from the same symptoms as your daughter. I used to be (before the depression, anxiety, sleep disorder and also a bad case of hypothyroidism, which has its own nasty corollaries) an outgoing, social person, especially gifted at selling high end jewelry. I was outdoorsy, loved to travel (alone often!), and excelled at making friends.

Now, I am isolated almost all of the time. I am married, but never had any children---I met my husband fairly late in life. He is generally kind, but very much a workaholic and not good at expressing or dealing with emotions. He is remarkably un-affectionate, and that really doesn't help.

I can understand where your daughter is coming from, so well. A gentle touch is what is needed. Lots of reminders of how much she is loved and supported by you makes an awful lot of difference.

I, too, become physically ill (abdominal pain, headaches, and surprisingly powerful lower back pain have all been experienced) when I have social interactions to attend. On those occasions, wild horses could not get me out of the house! I have access to a wonderful, gentle therapist; but going to spend sessions with her has become so painful, I can no longer bring myself to go.

(YES, I understand it is a resource I should not squander---and yes, this causes me anxiety, as well, over the guilt I feel.)

Being trapped in this vicious cycle is, to me, often worse than the depression itself.

No, I do not have one single explanation for its arrival in my life. I think of it as I think of my depression: brain chemistry running a little amuck. There is no external, single cause.

Yes, it all makes me very lonely at times, but I am comfortable and safe in my home, and for now, that's how it has to be for me. (Fortunately, in my case, I have an artistic side, and do often naturally enjoy lots of time to myself, in peace and quiet. So it's perhaps not as crippling a situation for me as it might seem on the surface.)

I have taken baby steps to help myself, and my medication does a bit for me in that way. The most help I have gotten is talking with others about this, and realizing I am not alone. An 8-week CBT course was also useful to me, but came with its own share of difficulties. Some of the techniques I learned in it were very helpful, however, and do still help me now a few years on.

There is supposed to be an Anxiety Workbook (famous because of its blue cover, and well-received by therapists) which has helped a great many people. That may be a place to start.

I wish I could be more help. But I wanted to reach out to let you know that it happens to very lovely people...it is no fault of yours or hers...and that, little by little, her pain and confusion can be greatly lessened, and even possibly cured.

Lots of people deal with this. There is hope, especially as she is so much younger than me, and not yet soured or cynical about some things.

Wishing you both all the best.