View Single Post
abusedtoy
Member
 
abusedtoy's Avatar
abusedtoy has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: AU
Posts: 182
5 yr Member
59 hugs
given
Default Nov 07, 2017 at 06:15 AM
 
Whenever I see people, I feel like everyone is a threat to me.
Whichever place that I am in, I feel like there is no safe place.
I get paranoid, even at my own home, even in my own bedroom.
Is not home the safest place? My pdoc asked me. It supposed to be.

My pdoc told me that I have no place to escape in this paranoia...
I cannot trust anyone, cannot trust even those who are closest to me.
The people whom are closest to you are supposed to be your support.
He explained to me that since I have no place to hide...
My mind has naturally created a safe place of my own.
I am not sure if this is a normal depersonalisation-derealisation experience?
I have created many imaginary places that I would walk into.
They are so vividly real and intricately detailed.
My psychiatrist said that this depersonalised realm is my comfort zone.

The truth is that the brain itself can't cope anymore, he explains...
So, because there is no safe place to hide and gain support from the outside,
Then, it must be done from the inside system.
When the outside reality, the outside world cannot,
The inside system of myself has created it by itself,
Before I even have conscious of creating it.

__________________
Official Psychiatric Dx.
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Complex Dissociative Identity Disorder
abusedtoy is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous41332, Olanza-what?, Purple,Violet,Blue