I am definitely not mad at you.I'm sorry if that's what my communication style makes you think and feel.I'm just a blunt,straight forward person and I don't coddle or sugar coat anything.I don't think I would even know how to if I tried.

I do get frustrated with you though.Because you get something in your mind and then run with it,run it into the ground,then take off running with the next thought that comes along.Over and over and you are not able to see how often you are creating many of your own problems.My replies in this thread were meant to help you see that,help you see that what you experienced is most likely not what you are convincing yourself it is.

And yes,you can do things different.When you start seeing your new T you can go in,share all your experiences,all the things you struggle with and allow them to actually help you.Figure out what it is together,accept what they diagnose you with and work with them on getting better.

I know it''s hard for you to not research things,to not self diagnose,to agree with what MH professionals tell you or want you to do.This time you could do it differently.You could trust them to help you get better and put your all into working on yourself.I don't feel you have whole heartedly given your all into it before and I feel if you would this time things may really turn around for you.

And tbh,sometimes to me it seems ypu feel the need to get a dx that reflects your amount of hurt,pain and struggling.Like maybe you feel certain illnesses aren't representative or equal to your suffering.That you feel it can't be just PTSD or just anxiety or just whatever because you are suffering way too much.I feel instead of searching or guessing or trying to figure it out you will do and feel much better to just allow a professional to help you regardless of the diagnosis.Healing is what matters,not the label you are given.