I dont have a t so maybe im not a good one to talk but then maybe i am cuz i dont got one i try to make sure i got safety nets in place when i know things are gonna go down soon cuz when i get to feelin small n not so good then i cant thin right enough to do all that in the middle of it. My safety net is my fuzzy blanket, my favorite teddy bear, this one book I like, and my fidget cube for when I am stuck all small. My safety net for when Im not feelin too small but still all mucked up in the head is my one mandala color book, a sketch pad and pens and pencils for drawin it out, a notebook for writin it out, some oranges for sensory help if writin n drawin gets to tense for me, green tea honey and lemon juice yum for breaks. I keep what i can behind my big chair so its already right there for me when i need it so all i gotta do is curl up and crawl in. Lots of other ones in my system have things by that chair to. We try to plan ahead just incase. Oh to we got some outside the head people we can call for help to or maybe just let them know we got stuff maybe goin down and as hey could you check in on us sometimes just incase. I only call that husband guy we got cuz hes nice to me and if its a emergency i know hes gonna show up to help me. But writin it out n drawin it out help me the most cuz i get to be my own soundin board that way. plus i can look back at it later and learn more about what i was thinin n feelin then plus see what else i think n feel now so i can learn more and maybe go aha! about it. Haha. I like it when that happens to. Sorry im talkin lots. I had a rough weekend and sure used my safety nets and now all that is in my brain bein loud cuz its really real to me right now.

Okay. I promise to be quiet quick but i wanted to say to how i now you sayin how you dont know if maybe this makes you feel afraid or angry or needy and i sure dont wanna tell you how to feel or nothin cuz you got every right to feel just exactly how you gonna feel but i think its real understandable to be feelin lots of feelings about all this. you got lots goin on and holidays make stuff hard n then maybe not bein able to see your t well thats even harder. I dont think that makes you dependent. I think that makes you human. You got a way you been doin this n dealin with tough stuff and changin how you wor this with maybe no t time well that throws a great big wrench in everything and im sorry you gotta be dealin with this right now thats gotta be a lot of things n none of them comfy cozy. Nope. But even though its hard, I know you can do it. Im pullin for you and i bet im not the only one here in this place pullin for you to. If you think you wanna put together a safety net like i do, well i know you can put us people here in that safety net to ok?

NiKKi