Thanks regretful , yeah I reckon the volunteering is a by product . I think it's easy to pigeonhole the transition to be all about material things and regaining lost youth , but I know now it's more complex that that . I liken it to a reverse puberty in some ways . When you were 13 -15-17 yrs old , we had a lot of very different thoughts , not all of them frivolous and foolhardy . I'm no expert but I reckon after 40 years of grinding out a career , gaining houses , funds , etc for our families . We get the urge to do something to make a difference that's not based on "what's in it for me " .. probably not explained that so well . Puberty wasn't a bad thing once I had got through it ... starting to think this might be the same . Hang in there mate ...as the Tank Corps motto was after WWI " Through mud and blood ..to the green fields beyond "