I don't want to distance myself from him. Losing him would be devastating to me, and him losing me would probably kill him. You see, he physically has a bad heart, and I can't in good consciousness cause him to tip over the edge. I can't live with that sort of guilt.

With that aside, I don't get why someone would actually want punishment. It boggles my mind because for me, punishment has a very negative association with it. My physical abuse as a child is one example. I feel he just needs to respect me more about this, and that he isn't.