Quote:
Originally Posted by starrysky
I disagree with this. I think that from reading Ikkusiosi's post, it is not clear to her (or me) whether she experienced trauma. She may have, but may not have.
Ikkusiosi, a lot of children experiment and have their own way of expressing their sexuality. I don't think there's anything wrong with you. To have your mother though, think that your father sexually abused you, and for you to not remember it that way (but at the same time, wondering why she thought that?), and to be questioning your own sexual behaviors as a child... I can see how all of that would make you confused and question what the heck is / was going on.  |
We don’t want to think that children are sexually active, though. That spoils the idea of the innocence of childhood. If a child exhibits any kind of sexual behaviour, then it’s believed that he or she must have been abused by an adult. We don’t - or can’t - bestow sexuality on 5-year-olds or 9-year-olds and only barely admit that the pubescent might be sexually active: we can only sit back and say that puberty is a time of confusing sexual thought.
Maybe this is what the OP’s mother believes: that a 9-year-old engaging in sexual curiosity and behaviour indicates that her daughter must have been abused.
I don’t know much about childhood sexuality beyond my own experiences and what friends have shared. I’m not even sure how to differentiate between ‘childhood’ and ‘sexually active childhood,’ although I believe that we should recognize pre-pubescent sexuality as something real. And, damn it, recognize that some children think of, fantasize about, and engage in sexual behavior long before puberty.