I have always had a fear of being naked, being touched, and having sex. I have a very high sex drive and I am very active with masturbating, I feel I could have no better partner than myself. I am the only person who can bring myself to climax, and no one I've been with have brought me even relatively close to climax. With guys, I just lie there until they are done. The few guys who've attempted to bring me to climax with....I grew bored and told them I was done and not even close. One guy who got closest to feeling good with oral I had to force him to stop because it tickled, yes, tickled. It wasn't a good feeling, not even a painful feeling, but it literally felt like I was being tickled. I cannot stimulate myself with fingers without generating that same tickling feeling, but if I use a pillow and blanket I can get there no trouble. Intercourse isn't painful, but it simply doesn't feel good. Intercourse does nothing for me. I cannot even bring myeslf to orgasm when using a dildo vaginally. I've never done a**l with a guy, but I do know that when masturbating with dildo it does feel good without the tickling feeling...if only my arm didn't grow tired. But I do enjoy using a vibrating butt plug, it's like a massage almost and that feels really, really good.

So what's wrong with me? I've never been abused or raped, but I just hate being touched (my parents commented how I've never enjoyed cuddling with them when I was younger) and nothing I've done with any of my partners have done me any justice. Never orgasmed with anyone and never came close to an inkling of feel good. Can't orgasm stimulating the clitoris with my fingers but I can with a blanket and a pillow which is the tried and true method, feel nothing good vaginally with a dildo, and my arms grow tired when I masturbate anally so I feel good with a**l but just not with a partner. I don't think it's the partner choice. I've had 8 partners and no one came close to feeling good, some were just awful. I feel like there is so much pressure on me when I have sex, but some of those people just wanted sex for their needs, no consideration of mine. But how am I supposed to have a partner I can only give oral to or maybe ana-l? What is wrong with me?