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Originally Posted by LiteraryLark
I have always had a fear of being naked, being touched, and having sex. I have a very high sex drive and I am very active with masturbating, I feel I could have no better partner than myself. I am the only person who can bring myself to climax, and no one I've been with have brought me even relatively close to climax. With guys, I just lie there until they are done. The few guys who've attempted to bring me to climax with....I grew bored and told them I was done and not even close. One guy who got closest to feeling good with oral I had to force him to stop because it tickled, yes, tickled. It wasn't a good feeling, not even a painful feeling, but it literally felt like I was being tickled. I cannot stimulate myself with fingers without generating that same tickling feeling, but if I use a pillow and blanket I can get there no trouble. Intercourse isn't painful, but it simply doesn't feel good. Intercourse does nothing for me. I cannot even bring myeslf to orgasm when using a dildo vaginally. I've never done a**l with a guy, but I do know that when masturbating with dildo it does feel good without the tickling feeling...if only my arm didn't grow tired. But I do enjoy using a vibrating butt plug, it's like a massage almost and that feels really, really good.
So what's wrong with me? I've never been abused or raped, but I just hate being touched (my parents commented how I've never enjoyed cuddling with them when I was younger) and nothing I've done with any of my partners have done me any justice. Never orgasmed with anyone and never came close to an inkling of feel good. Can't orgasm stimulating the clitoris with my fingers but I can with a blanket and a pillow which is the tried and true method, feel nothing good vaginally with a dildo, and my arms grow tired when I masturbate anally so I feel good with a**l but just not with a partner. I don't think it's the partner choice. I've had 8 partners and no one came close to feeling good, some were just awful. I feel like there is so much pressure on me when I have sex, but some of those people just wanted sex for their needs, no consideration of mine. But how am I supposed to have a partner I can only give oral to or maybe ana-l? What is wrong with me?
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Nothing is wrong with you. If my experience has taught me anything it has taught me that every woman has a different path to climax.
Since you mention a**l sex, I’ll mention two different women who have used a**l in the past to achieve orgasm.
The first - gosh, this was in the 1970’s! - could only climax by simultaneous a**l/vaginal penetration. Sometimes - most of the time - that meant two partners although sometimes (again!) she could use a dildo (administered by her partner or, at times, by herself) either anally or vaginal with a single partner and achieve orgasms.
The problem with the above is that it breaks the laws of monogamy that the majority of people find sacrosanct. If you are amongst that crowd, then...
I have a friend who, golly!, for the past 25+ years, can only reach orgasm if her partner is engaging in penetrating her anally whilst she is stimulating her clitoris with a small bullet/Rabbit vibrator.
As to that ‘tickling’ feeling... I’ve had many female partners who could not climax because of the intensity of oral clitoral stimulation. They would describe the feeling as ‘too intense,’ ‘ticklish,’ or ‘aching/hurting,’ and would push me away. The solution for many of these women was to simply continue to ride the intense wave to climax or (I have no financial interest in vibrators!) use a small bullet/Rabbit clitoral vibrator whilst being anally penetrated by a partner.
These are just the ways in which two women that I know ‘solved’ their climaxing issues. I could recount dozens and dozens of others but, as you mentioned a**l, these two sprang immediately to mind.
You mention, um, ‘humping’ (I think?) pillows and the like. I assume that this practice means that you are climaxing due to clitoral stimulation? I feel as if I am a butt-plug connoisseur! Have you ever tried any of the LELO products? Or tried being penetrated by a partner with, for example, a vibrating butt plug in place? Is your current partner (if, indeed, you are monogamous?) open to experimentation in attempting to aid in your ability to climax? Are
you open to experimentation?
I know of one method of arousal that can usually bring 90% of women to climax. It is a bit rough so I’ll not describe it here, but only say that it requires a partner and the severe use of the middle and ring fingers and a lot of lubricant.
Oh, you should try your pillow whilst being anally penetrated by your partner, if you can. You haven’t yet enjoyed a**l sex, I know, but you certainly seem to enjoy a**l stimulation. Just as having two partners at once requires coordination, so would the pillow-blanket/partner combination.
I’ve known so many women who say that they cannot climax, or that can only climax in very specific modes of masturbation. I don’t think that a full-fledged attack is the best way to ameliorate the ‘problem’ but rather in a fun and imaginative manner.
You do not like being naked? Try being a home-nudist, if you’re able. Don’t like being touched, or engaging in intercourse? Just do it. It is like treating phobias through exposure therapy. ‘Touch’ can feel good. ‘Sex’ can feel good. Intercourse can feel good (vaginally/anally or both at one time).
Oh, one other thing. Don’t continue to lie to your partners by telling them that you’ve climaxed when you have not. Doing that makes your less experienced partners carry a sense of misguided confidence and your more experienced partners will note the lack of specific physical reactions and, well, know that you’ve lied. In sex, as in most things, honesty is best.
I hope that you will use your imagination and find a way to climax with your partner(s) and to enjoy touch... and every type of intercourse. There is a large body of knowledge available via Google concerning the female climax...