It sounds like you’re using your marriage as a safety net. That’s not fair to your spouse, yourself & the relationship.
If you don’t find out it could cause yrs of regret or you can just bury it & pretend it’s not there...neither are good choices.
Other people’s experiences are good for reading, but you will have to in the end, make some decisions & your spouse needs to be informed of everything so you both can see what boundaries you’re going to run into.