Maybe you could see a professional, such as a sex therapist. I think they often see people in situations like yours - where it just doesn't mesh. Or if you don't want to involve him with that just yet/he doesn't want to go/you think he doesn't want to go, you can talk to one yourself. See if he/she has some ideas. It's always your choice whether you implement them.

Maybe he could make a list of things he'd like or is 'into' (he can write down: I'd like to be handcuffed and hog-tied with silk neckties, and you know: oh, I can do that. He can also just write down: I'd like to be restrained, and then you can decide whether to go for handcuffs or silk ties or just plain old hemp rope).

What little I've read about BDSM and stuff like that is that it's always a good idea to have a contract put in place.. the person submitting says: "I don't want that at all" "I don't think I want that either" "I only want x after y or only want x if z happens afterwards" (Just inventing something an example.. I only want you to order me to undress if you've also taken off part of your clothes, or: I only want you to order me to undress if you're going to get naked shortly after), and "I'd like x, y and z/I'm interested in x, y and z".
Then the dominating person writes his or her piece. If both agree, both sign.

I'll send you a PM with a link to a short story (only a few pages) I read about it once.