I'll bet there is an interesting set of stories behind how your folks got through their lives. Think about what Europe was like when your mother lived there. Was it before WWII . . . during . . . after? Holland went through some rough stuff. (I'm not too up on history, but where in Europe did people not go through tramatic upheaval?) Figure out what years your mom lived there and, then, google up some back story. Whether from an affluent or a lower class family, there would have been challenges . . . perhaps losses . . . perhaps pressures. Imagine what her story might have been, in that context.

You have an appreciation for the inherent humanity of all persons whom you know. That speaks of the depth of your soul. You have spoken with warmth of parents who gave you no easy time growing up. You don't look at people simplistically. That can be a gift and a virtue. It can also lead to confusion. There is such a thing as being excessively tolerant, which is how I would describe you. But you can use that gift for looking into people to gain insight into how your parents' personalities were formed. Life starts to make more sense when you grasp how people get to be how they are. I'm not a big believer in the idea that we are born wired a certain way. To some extent, yes. But social influences fascinate me, and - I believe - explain most of why people are as they are.

Know you are free, as you say, . . . and nevermind going around being excessively honest with everyone. Honesty is a virtue, but having appropriate barriers means not telling your business overly much. Your new friendship doesn't have to be scrupulously reported to Mr. Cheapskate. You told him enough . . . . and he didn't even care. You don't want to hurt the new guy, and that was honorable, but you don't have to pledge him your heart prior to dating him. It's supposed to be the other way around.

Let us know how things go.