I read your post yesterday but didn't reply because I doubted I had anything to offer of any consequence. However, at this point, since no one has replied to your post I thought I would. In my case, I don't have any friends. So... no... I've never had any friends who talk about their fetish constantly... or anything else for that matter.

I'm sorry you don't have any friends that you can talk to...It can be difficult when you don't have people to talk to, about specific things or in general.

I noticed, however, that you mentioned you have really bad gender dysphoria. And this is something I'm all too familiar with. I'm an older person now. But gender identity has been a lifelong struggle for me. And even now, at this late stage in my life, I still feel an almost overwhelming need to talk about it.

A few years ago, I got to know several YouTubers who were transitioning (MtF). And being involved with them gave me an outlet. However the little MtF trans community that existed on YouTube at the time has pretty-much gone by the wayside now. So I no longer have anyone to talk to & I just keep it all to myself.

Gender dysphoria is awful and I wish you didn't experience it either...There is actually a decent about of MTF trans guys on youtube but the problem is that they're a younger generation. I mean, I'm young myself (26) but they're teenagers or late teenagers, you know? I know of people who are QTPOC, like myself, but I'm not friends with them. My bad social anxiety doesn't help either. =/ I want to try to go to some meet up groups but I tried before and I need someone to come with me or else I'll be a mess.

From my perspective, I think the situation you describe is a matter of boundaries. You simply have to decide (as it sounds like you have) what you can & can't tolerate, communicate those limits, & enforce them. (There are lots of internet articles on the subject of boundaries, as well as videos on YouTube. Family therapist Kati Morton has one.) And, of course, in turn, as you already realize, you must reciprocate by not discussing your own issues.

You're right. I think boundaries are very important. I know Kati Morton. I'm suscribed to her channel. I like her a lot. I'll look up some stuff on boundaries because I need to know that for all areas of my life. And I'm already prepared for not discussing my gender identity with him. It's something that I have dealt with alone for my whole life. No one understands what I go through and, while I can talk about it with a few people, they really don't know what else to say besides, "I'm sorry you're dealing with that". I had ONE person who actually asked me questions and had convos with me about it, but she and I cut ties a while ago for many reasons.

The problem with this, of course, is that it closes off one opportunity you have to talk about your gender identity issues. Hopefully you have others. (Perhaps you're transitioning or at least receiving some gender-identity-related therapy?) But, if not, I hope you will try to figure out some other way of talking about your trans issues. Because I know, from personal experience, how difficult it is to just keep it all bottled up. I wish you well...

I'm beginning to transition a little bit (currently trying to get top surgery but navigating the system here is a bit tricky, especially since I'm nonbinary and I don't want to go on testosterone). And I'm in the process of finding another therapist since my old therapist left the center I go to. It is very difficult to keep it bottled up inside. I do that a lot and it is very lonely. Intersectionality is a big deal, too, because being black and queer and trans is so very difficult.