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amicus_curiae
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amicus_curiae Me. As an undergrad. Not a good likeness. But me, nonetheless.
 
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Default Jan 28, 2018 at 03:53 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by chipperdear View Post
Mine was sort of sudden too. I've had sexual relationships in the past. It seemed to change when I turned 18 or 19 as well, oddly enough. I've never experienced anything traumatic sexually, and I do still want a sexual relationship (or at least the idea of it).
What do you mean by “the idea of it?” A sexual relationship is kind of black-and-white, is/is not, you know? You are either having sex or you are not having sex.

Even though I was a boy-slut for the majority of my life - and unrepentant - I had a number of genuine partnerships/relationships with women which consisted of emotional/intellectual/sexual compatibilities* and nothing in life was ever any better. Some had unfortunate endings but I have fond and kind feelings for each woman who was able to tolerate my insanity. One is sleeping beside me again.

There is always going to be a degree of intimacy in any sexual relationship. The word is synonymous with ‘sexual intercourse’ (I would say ‘genital contact’ as a 21st century update).

As to your fears of sex: we men are right basterds and 80% of us might make whoopee once or twice and move on. Or move on after one or two years right under your nose. We have a societal need to spread our seed. But you can’t let that stop you.

I understand that a fear of rejection can be frightening but, damn it, you can’t let that stop you from making the moves. Frozen by fear? That’s no way to live. I have no reason to believe that we have any more chances than this to move or to remain still and, to me, it’s best to be the monster slouching toward Bethlehem rather than the golem bogged in the mud. I fly high and I crash sometimes but, oh, the high is sooo good.

My advice: Fly.

*Love. It happens. Not often mentioned in this forum.

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amicus_curiae

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