In living a life as an antisocial individual surrounded by those who are social, one can battle with loneliness, anger, resentment, depression, and other feelings associated with alienation. It is a painful thing for those who were born this way, perhaps differently from those who were formed that way from trauma, abuse, neglect, etc, although not necessarily. It is a conundrum of the most absurd degree whereby the desire to have real and meaningful connections is negated by the inability to consistently hold the meaning of those connections made. A viscious cycle of idealize, devalue, and discard ensues as a result. I personally find that a degree of consistent distance from the object of connection can enhance and even lengthen the cycle. It seems however inevitable, that eventually all will be discarded. I fight this urge, to the death. I am slowly learning to hold on, at my own painful expense.