Rechu, this reminds me exactly of the situation I went through with my abusive brother two years ago. Two years ago he was in a motorcycle crash and nearly lost his leg. He was housebound, wheelchair bound, etc. for months while he had about 20 surgeries to repair his leg.

I got all these updates from my mother about it, and she was highly distressed, but I didn't feel a thing or care at all about it. He had abused me violently growing up, and I had no relationship with him. I honestly felt like the trauma he was going through was payment for all he had done to me. He's one of the reasons I have PTSD.

Then there's my uncle who just lost his foot due to diabetes and other medical problems. I also have little sympathy for him because of his abuse towards me throughout my life. He has spread rumors about me, guilts me constantly about not calling to speak to him (except talking to him is so unpleasant, why would I call him), and I also don't speak to him because he spreads rumors about me to other family members, and I don't appreciate that. I have compassion for his situation, but it hasn't made me feel any more desire to call him or speak to him.

You reap what you sow. They sowed poor relationships with me and now expect some kind of relationship because they're ill? I have compassion for them; but I also am not going to break down on my boundaries and let them abuse me just because they had a medical problem.

So, I guess I'm saying, you feel what you feel. It's not right or wrong. Don't guilt yourself over it.

Seesaw