Yeah, I hate talking to therapists, too. Like, really. I talk to one psychologist, the only I trust anymore, and it's not workable between us because she's not really in private practice anymore. She said I should stop going through the list of therapists provided by my health insurance and just pick one--the problem is, I don't know any of them, and don't really want to extend to them the opportunity because to them, I'm just a case study.

I literally sat here crying the other day as I imagined myself trying to trust one of them and actually open up so I can get to the therapy. Can't do it. My palms get sweaty and I get to imagining how they're going to use what I say against me and I just can't do it.