I am at a crossroads. I have to make the most important decision of my life. This decision will change my life once and for all.

Do I go to rehab again to try to get clean or ?

I refuse to live as a drug addict any longer. I must make a decision one way or another.

Before I got my current place I was homeless for 9 years. I have been a drug addict since the age of 12 and I am now 50 years old. I am simply tired of this life.

You addicts know exactly what I'm about. You say to yourself, "I don't want to get high today". But yet, there you go off to buy drugs. Then you consume the drugs and feel bad about it. It is a vicious cycle that I do not want to be a part of anymore.

This is not new for me. I have been contemplating the end for more than two decades. Now I am extremely serious. And so serious that I am scared.

In the past, when I thought about this I quickly laughed it off because I knew it was something that I could not do to myself.

I want to end my suffering. I want to stop being a drug addict.