For me it's both :/

When I'm drown into anxiety and sad thoughts, I sometimes hurt myself to vent out the pain, and also because feeling physical pain helps me coming back to reality when i'm overthinking ^^"

And sometimes I jsut feel wrothless, weak, selfish, coward, a bad person who deserves to be hurt.

I'm so sorry you have been through bullying and self-injury though
*hugs tightly*