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Solnutty
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Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: California
Posts: 288
5 yr Member
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Default Feb 05, 2018 at 05:19 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amyjay View Post
I feel like my tide is in but I am flooded with feeling that I can't numb. I am awash. I lie on my bed and I can't get up. I sleep amongst the nightmares.
I am coming to know a part of self who went to father-and-daughter nights at the club, a part who saw the public daddy as a king and herself as a princess. She has been hated and rejected by us. Because of her adoration for him. She was a traitor.
But for some reason now I am coming to see her just as a purposefully protected part of a little girl who was so neglected abandoned and abused that, just for those nights, those once a year events, she was able to feel loved, she was able to feel special.
For some reason that washes me out with sadness and all I can do is lie on my bed and cry.

I have a part who loved an abuser, and I can relate to the hatred and sense of betrayal. Thanks for sharing. I’m glad we’ve gotten to know her better. She’s very sweet and kind, and has an uncomplicated outlook on life. It’s easy for her to enjoy life and that has been refreshing for us. She felt awful when she realized some of her actions hurt us badly in the past. She doesn’t have a single malicious thought in her (side of the) mind.

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