I agree that in Ansari's case it wasn't rape and there's definitely degrees to sexual abuse and harassment. But, in the same way as you'll get some sort of punishment for any act of murder or physical harm of another person that wasn't legitimate self defense, any kind of unwanted or exaggerated sexual behavior is not alright. Yes, definitely, Ansari isn't a "rapist" and he might not have realized he was being pushy and overstepping his bounds, but he did overstep.

Look, the problem here isn't that this is a "male" behavior(being sexually demanding, overstepping or being downright abusive) or that women are sensitive flowers who can't take sexual advances and need to be outright asked for consent every 2 seconds(although in some cases maybe some people, both men and women, do, and that's also ok).

The issue here is that most societies are still in the process of doing away with deeply ingrained patriarchal, male centric views and attitudes regarding everything. It's in a way harder to advance on these issues of true equality now, because in western societies a lot of the deeply sexist, dehumanizing stuff are very subtle and strongly weaved into the fabric of society, they're ideas about gender and the relationships between genders that we take for granted and that are reinforced because most people don't question them and aren't yet willing to.

This influences the way heterosexual(or any other sexual orientation that includes opposite sex attraction) romance and sexual encounters take place and the way the two people engaging in that type of interaction relate to one another.

A cis man, particularly a cis straight male, grows up in a world that sends him very subtle messages(along with not so subtle ones) that since he is male he is supposed to be more sexual than women, be the one doing the "conquering" and "convincing" women to have sex with him. Men also grow up with some entitlement, even those who are pretty feminist and very aware of these issues, because that's just the culture they live in and there's subtle messages we're being bombarded with from all directions. Men, most if not all men, fall victim to objectifying women sometimes, to some extent or another. There's even been some studies about that. Even women objectify themselves and other women a lot of the time, for the same reason, because they live in the same society.

This is why men overstep more often and why a lot of the time they don't even realize they're doing it or that it's bad. This is also why women tend to go along with things they might not feel like doing at a given time, not just fear but discomfort with saying no, being more assertive. Physical differences between men and women are not so great as to explain this behavior, they aren't enough to make women inherently weak and men inherently strong or anything, certainly not to the extent where it would create the gap that still exists. No, instead women grow up in a world that still instills the belief, albeit subtly, that they are somehow weaker and could never defend themselves, that the activities and attitude that would allow them to defend themselves are not available for them cause they're not "female" traits. They grow up in a world that treats them in dehumanizing ways every day and most of these ways are so subtle they aren't questioned. Everything from clothes to toys and the way we speak to girls and women is inherently sexist at the core and vice-versa for men.

All of that creates an imbalance in sexual relationships and the way men and women go about satisfying their sexual needs. Men need to be aware of this and try to be part of the change we need to have, part of the solution not the problem.

Most women, if they feel some reluctance from their partner or like they're just not that eager and in the mood, they will stop. A lot of men don't even bother acquiring the ability to read body language and the vibes coming off from sexual partners unless they're very clear. Yeah, newsflash, men aren't wired to be clueless about that, testosterone isn't killing that capacity, they're just not encouraged to use it. Also, the majority of women, if told by their partner that he'd like to stop, isn't that in the mood, etc, would stop and not insist again. No, asking again and again isn't abuse but it puts pressure and that's not right, in general. Many people ended up being coerced into doing stupid things(sexual or otherwise) just by having someone insist and ask over and over.

Imagine, there's still a much too high percentage of men who don't see the harassment and dehumanization they engage in when ostensibly looking after women on the street, coming up to strangers, making lewd remarks and throwing pick up lines to random women. Many men still think it's a compliment to tell random women on the street they look good. No, it's not, it's harassment even if it's not whistling or outright sexual. Women check men out too but they don't engage in that behavior and that's not cause they're women per say, it's because society never dehumanizes cis, straight men so even when men are looked at in a sexual way, it's as humans with a sexual side, not as sex objects first.

Point is, if someone says no or seems even a little bit reluctant, just stop. Same if someone says maybe. Yes, some women(and men) like being coy but a lot of women who might want to say no, end up saying maybe because they've been conditioned to feel uncomfortable saying no. If your partner says maybe then stop and make it clear it's ok if that maybe is more of a no than a yes. For ex I imagine there's plenty of women who might not want sex at that point but want to have sex with that man in the near future and they go through with it out of fear that if they say no now, the guy will get the wrong impression. Men are rarely faced with these conundrums.