Yes, you are correct in that I was trying to be helpful. Thank you for letting me know how my input affected you, I find that because my intent is to be helpful that when someone takes the time to give me feedback be it negative or positive I can learn from that and try to improve on my effort so that it has a more "positive" affect on the individual when I invest my time in trying to help that individual.

That being said, one of the things I noticed myself doing as well as others I have come across that struggle with PTSD is that self talk, "I have to do it for them" and "I have to not feel MY feelings (which is depriving self) so I can do for them.

Where I really became aware of that was during a therapy session where I was talking to my therapist about a lot of things I had experienced and tears were running down my face and he gently stopped me and said, "you just told me some very sad things you lived through, how about stopping and allowing yourself to sit with those emotions instead of how you are running away with them". I honestly had not realized I did that and the core message in me was "I have to not feel, I have to do that for them".

Well, it's taken me a long time to figure out where I developed that way of being Carmina.

I can SO relate to this. Yet, I did not know that was what I was doing. And when I failed to do that I tended to be hard on myself believing "I can't have my feelings because I have to do for "them" because that's more important". Not only that but if I faltered and feelings came out I was most definitely penalized for it because some other person most definitely needed their feelings to be more important than mine.

It's hard for me to share my own personal challenges in that I anticipate being criticized for my own feelings. Because of that I never truly processed all the trauma I experienced in my history, and I do have a lot of trauma in my history.