Thread: The Avoidance
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CelestialFlame
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Member Since Nov 2017
Location: USA
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Default Feb 19, 2018 at 10:57 AM
 
I do not avoid people because i have a low self esteem, fear/anxiety, or the normal reasons for people with avpd. I avoid them because i have extreme paranoia. It causes extreme stress. I think that when people are laughing, they’re laughing at me, i think that people are looking at me/talking about me, that they’re out to get me, and that’s the reason why i hate being in any social situation. I know its completely irrational and nobody actually cares that much about me to do all those things but it doesn’t stop the little voice in my head from telling me its happening. I do go out when i have to, for school, work, and grocery shopping but other than that i do not leave my house. I typically skip school (i have college twice a week and usually only go one day or neither) and i recently quit my job because i couldn’t stand going. Hopefully i’ll find another job soon that’s not as social. I don’t exactly mind being in my house all the time, i have everything i need here usually and its quite comfortable. Im not totally alone, my sister lives with me and i have a cat so its not that bad. Im not sure how useful this information is considering i have another pd overlapping this one so its not the same exact experience as one with only avpd.

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Character is like a tree and reputation its shadow. The shadow is what we think it is and the tree is the real thing.
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