My Support Forums - View Single Post - Are you comfortable opening up on this forum?

itsgettinglate · Feb 20, 2018 at 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Thanks for posting this!

I have a few different problems related to the question you raise. (I will just mention that I do reply to posts in this forum when there is something specific I can offer.) I don't, however, as a rule post my own threads anywhere on PC. And most of the time, when I do, they're not about anything personal. I have posted a few personal threads in the past. But when I did I then felt so uncomfortable having them posted, I messaged the moderators asking to have my thread taken down.

The other problem I have, here in the men's forum, is that I have had a life-long struggle with gender identity dysphoria. So although I've lived a more-or-less typical male life, I don't really feel like a man. Plus, I was terrorized for the better part of 4 years throughout high school by a gang of older boys.

So I'm not comfortable around men in general whether in person or on-line. (Actually, I'm not especially comfortable around women either though. I pretty-much just keep to myself.)

This is actually my second time around here on PC. When I was here before, I used to post in the transgender forum. And I do still occasionally reply to posts there. But that forum is even deader than the men's forum at this point. So I really don't spend any time there either to speak of.

I reply to a lot of posts by new members. And occasionally there will be posts written by older men. (By the way... I'm an older man... to use the term loosely.)

However, almost invariably, they never post more than their introductory thread. I guess it's just hard for men, in general, to open up... even anonymously on-line.

Two things come to mind, Skeezyks. First, sorry that you had bad experiences with boys/young men. I can easily see why that might make you reluctant to share much, especially issues of the sensitive nature you might want support with.

I will say that while I can't say I have experience with the specific challenges you face, I think that we still face the challenges we do as men and as people raised as men. I think that creates some common expectations that women don't really understand as well as men do, just as men don't understand the challenges women face as well as women do. I'd guess that a lot of men can relate to the general idea that we're not extremely sure who we're supposed to be as men. We might not admit it (though I just did) but I strongly suspect that if the right question is asked, almost every man will say, "well sure, that's a pain to deal with," or "yes, I'd change that (about myself, the world) if I could. So I think there's always some common ground, and probably more than we suspect. I hope so.