(((((( hugs ))))))

I do understand. I have similar feelings. I have never attempted; I truly think I'd succeed. I'm also often concerned about what others may think (erroneously). I try to hide my depression: I am out and about with a "masked depression," when I can get up enough energy to get out. I isolate a lot, too.

Welcome to PC.
I hope you find the info. and the support you may be seeking.
Please make yourself at home here. Visit the many forums and join in wherever you wish to do so.

I hope to see you around.
Please take good care of you.

WC