Holy mackerel. Must Process! ! ! ! !
You're seriously over my head - but I've had a wreck of a day at work.
You're an incredibly insightful person, especially as you describe yourself as a child. You knew who you were, even when your parents didn't. You should connect with some resident expert and co-write a book.

I think you must have an unusually high iq, that would shed some light your sense of things and yourself. One of my kids is 140 iq - not so very rare, but she definitely bears some burden from it. 115 to 125 is optimal. Over 135 starts to become a problem for many, and most end up misunderstood total underachievers.

I say this because parents often act out of fear. I pressured my little one to "fit" the norm in many ways that she didn't. I had to learn to 1. understand who she is and 2. honor who she is. However it's hard. Parents want their kids to "fit in". When they're different, it takes a concerted effort to honor who they are. I'm just trying to give you additional thoughts on it, since your parent's take on things didn't help you.

I'll need awhile to take in the rest. Wishing good health.