I feel for you starfruit..my wife of 50 yrs is unmedicated bpd ...at times they really,really don't know what is going on.i can never trust her feelings.or how she will react, ever... what you really,really have to do is to give up any anger you may get ,it only hurts you,makes your life more difficult....all the lecturing we do for our loved ones falls on deaf ears..how to improve their lives, do the right thing, always trying to control all the useless anger and in the 'end' they will blame you for all the 'useless' drama' It might sound cold but to argue with the dog would make more sense.so to get angry with her reasoning is useless......she will fight back like the house is on fire, so why bother...