After yoga tonight someone asked what I do with my friends. I said "I don't."
Then I was asked, "you don't have friends that you do stuff with, do you?"
I again answered, "I don't."
I'm really down about having to admit it out loud.
I have friends but none that EVER really want to do things. I didn't have fun at the radio club so I just quit going. I haven't even transmitted since December. I went to a funeral Saturday for a friend's mom, and the usual platitude of "we need to do something sometime" was passed around. I went to another friend's wedding, same Saturday, but there wasn't anything there for me and that drive is 75 minutes away. The few people I knew at the wedding beyond the couple just ignored me when I tried to talk to them. So, I mostly stay by myself, feeling depressed.
I'm also a bit down about something I don't quite understand. I tried to give an MP3 player I don't use to one of the instructors at the gym Monday so she could store the class's music on it. She got angry with me somehow, like I'd offended her in some way. I stopped talking at that point and did class and nothing else. She also got angry another time when I tried to give her an audio adapter to make hooking up her music easier for her.
It's not one thing but these things in combination that are causing me to start slipping downward. I might try silence again for a while. It was very easy to not speak to anyone about anything for a few days at a time. It kept me married for a longer time.
I know the problems here are me and I have to figure them out, but any help would be appreciated.