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itsbeenalongtime
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Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: ca
Posts: 14
5 yr Member
Default Mar 17, 2018 at 07:34 PM
 
I have battled the binge starve cycle for 45 years starting with anorexia which within a year turned into binging and starving. No one knows about this except this group. I'm sure they suspected but no one mentioned it to me. It contributed to three divorces and many jobs because to me the only way to stop a binge cycle was to make a major change to my mundane boring existence. I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and ADHD as an adult. Even my Psychologist does not know about the eating disorder. It is exhausting to keep the secret and go through the process. I'm early on in the restrictive eating (day 4) so my mood is good. When I start binging I will, barely drag myself out of bed to go to work, eating huge quantities at my desk waiting to get off work so I can go to the grocery store and buy cheesecake/chips/pizza, nuts .whatever. I cannot seek help for the eating disorder because my boyfriend has make comments about diets, anxiety, depression etc and how people just need to take control of their own lives. He knows nothing about any of my issues or the three medications I take to deal with them. I also have hypothyroidism so I have to take that medication every day. He knows about that so I just mix all my other pills into the thyroid pill bottle so I can take them and if he sees a pill bottle it will only be my thyroid medication.
I'm sorry I'm not a lot of help and I have only been a member for a week but I have read some success stories on here. I hope one day I can be one of them even if I'm 70 when it happens.
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