I was married to & living with a husband with asperger's (ASD) for 33 years. I can tell you that everything you have experienced was very similar to my experiences those 33 years. After leaving him 10 years ago it took me over 5 years to figure out what I had been dealing with all those years. My first psycholigist after I left (I moved 2100 miles away from him) suggested from the description of my experiences that he was most likely an aspie. It took me a few years & more irritations during the separation to push me into resesrching it deeper.

I hot the book "the complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" by Tony Attwood. There wasn't any of the behaviors that I didn't check off & it helped me unferstand why I reacted to his behaviors in the way I did. Yes, the book even says that their behaviors come across as narcissistic, passive aggressive. Put together with the fact that the psycholigist we both went to before I left had said that my husbsnd had thebemotional maturity of a 12 year old.

I will PM you with more information I don't care to share publically in the open forum.

Also remember that he keeps (or kept) communucating with you thebsame way he did before because with ASD, they get into routines that they are unable to easily break. It has nothing to do with feelings & everything to do with routine.

Your best option is to just let this relationship go because there is no way to FIX anything. There is no amount of ligical thinking that csn make their behavior or their thinking change because it is how their brain is wired.

My heart feels for what you are experiencing & you are not alone with others who have had similar relationships. Get the book & read it & you will understand that the problems & feelings you are experiencing are normal for relationships like the one you are dealing with.