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Old 04-02-2018, 02:49 PM  
here today
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: SE USA
Posts: 3,041
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Default Re: Cant take the Abuse from Quora

Welcome. What a refreshing post.

I don't exactly have NPD but do have some characteristics like it, and I'm at a point in my life where I want to be honest, and I like others who can be, too. I'm looking for interactions with other people, where honesty and straight feedback from others is valued more highly than avoiding hurt.

I believe that's the best way for me to learn and understand things.

For instance, I'm dealing now with a situation where I was (too) honest with a group of people and now don't have those "relationships" any more. However, it had been increasingly, not decreasingly, apparent for some time that keeping those relationships meant nobody talking about conflicts. So there increasingly was not anything "there" for me, and meeting with the folks felt like a burden sometimes, even though I care about them all. And don't like that actions that seemed necessary to me probably hurt them.

I'd like to talk about it and get some feedback, to try to sort out where things were my "bad", where the situation was just difficult to impossible, etc. I doubt that I will ever get myself into a situation like that one again, but there may be others that I could be vulnerable to, so I'd like to understand this one as much as I can.

Would anything like that appeal to your? Writing about your own situation, I mean, and getting perspective and feedback? Doesn't mean the other person is necessarily "right" of course, just a difference, and therefore maybe broadening, of perspective?

Might "hurt", too, but oh well -- if the person means to hurt you, then that's on them. When I recognize that intention, then what they say doesn't bother me (very much). If the person doesn't mean to hurt you, well this kind of thing happens when people are being straight sometime. I've gotten relatively good at tolerating and sitting through hurt, learning what I can sometimes.
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