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here today
Grand Magnate
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: USA
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Default Apr 04, 2018 at 10:17 PM
 
I can definitely identify with not knowing who I am. I may be I'm getting better, sort of. But it's taken a long time

Therapy has helped me to know myself better. But it's a very mixed bag because it has also led me to additional confusion about myself, too.

The people who trash-talk narcissists are, I think, insecure people themselves. Which may be part of the reason that bashing narcissists is gratifying to them. I'm definitely not trying to bash them! Just that they are invested in what they are saying because it's satisfying to them somehow.

I said I would offer some feedback so here it is: I think there's a difference between being self-absorbed and a being a narcissist. And the public at large and the trash-talkers may not really understand that.

There are some people diagnosed with NPD who have posted in this forum, and I have appreciated them and liked them and learned from them. And I don't think that you are one of them. I could be wrong. But have you ever been given a diagnosis of NPD?

Lack of identity -- yeah. I have that and I think a lot of people with any personality disorder can have that. Maybe you don't even need to have a personality disorder. A big problem, no question. At least it has been for me.

Your relationship with your mom. Ignore, if it doesn't feel right to you, what other people suggest that you do.

I'm currently going to meetings of Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families meetings. Sounds like your family was dysfunctional, too? If you haven't heard of or looked into that organization, it might be worth a checking out as a possibility.

Hope this helps some. At least maybe it's a little different from what you were reading on Quora.
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Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster